#1 Haiku

Picture polar bears
Like the ones that were on Lost
Now see them fucking

Things I suck at.

Jams

Just a quickie, but check out the music player I've added on the right-hand side. These are the only officially approved jams to listen to while reading this site. I will update the list every weekish. If anyone has suggestions, leave 'em in the comments and I'll see what I can do.

You won't have Hans von Spakovsky to kick around anymore... Hopefully.

Well, now that everyone's favorite vote-suppressing strudel lover has withdrawn his chubby little spanner from the works of the FEC we can get something going here. Hopefully Congress can get the remaining seats filled with people who are only 45%-55% sycophant and look into something. You know, if they aren't too busy.

Cocoa Puffs!?

If the third front in the GWOT heats up, money for school will no longer be a problem. I'll make more than enough fiat dollars in hostile fire pay to cover the current G.I. Bill shortcomings. But on the bright side, I may get another chance to visit my bedouin son Rat-Man. I miss him and his panty-melting green neckerchief, and the Kimbo style beat downs he would handout to all who would dare to eyeball his cocoa puffs. Just Rat-Man, Me and our trusty M-4 carbine. Mission Accomplished.

Let me just say this first, I do believe that drunk driving is a very dangerous and stupid thing to do and shouldn't be punished with just a slap on the wrist, but this is ridiculous. Having said that, I find that the constant pounding our bill of rights takes in the name of safety, is a lot more dangerous to our society as a whole than some drunkard out cruising. Never mind the fact that those who lobby for, or in some cases write these fascist friendly laws usually make a tidy little profit from their benevolence.

I just want to thank the Concrete Ghost for letting me shit post on his electronic front yard, and to my buddy Joe B, I'm glad you're almost back from Iraq. And to Mondo, who as my attorney, advises me to " DRINK SUM BEERZZ" You need to hit up Amsterdam before you cross the pond. P.S. hey concrete ghost, I thought you'd enjoy this bit of undernews .

Awesomeness!!! Animal Awesomeness!!!

Okay, I was hipped to this new Animal Collective video by Mallory Jr., and it's full of Animal Awesomeness. It's a live performance of a new song called, "Brother Sport." It's got the hypnotic rhythms that AC have made a staple of their jams, stoned-monk harmonic chanting, with some good bleeps and bloops all simmering in the crock pot with a tasty bay leaf, and more than a pinch of Avey Tare screaming into the mic. What else could you want? You better say nothing.

If you like it leave some comments! If you don't like it leave some comments! My blog get's lonely without any commments! And the person who keeps posting as anonymous saying my blogs are bloggy isn't going to get any dinner tonight if she doesn't make a user name...

Songs of the As-Yet-To-Be-Determined-Time-Period!

I have been meaning to sign up for some dumb file hosting website for awhile now, but never really got around to it until now, which is why I am making this post. I wanted to be cool like all my blogger heroes (Here's lookin' at you, Perez!) and put up some illegal music. No Lou, not music made by THE illegals, songs that I am distributing without owning the copyright. Although, I am encouraging people who like these jams to go and buy them at their local independent record store. Wow, that totally makes me sound like a prick!!

First up, I Should Have Known Better by She & Him. I know, I know. "What a douche," you say, "starting with a Beatles cover." Whatevs, I'm not sweating it. She is Zooey Deschanel and He is M. Ward.

Next we have For Reverend Green by Animal Collective. Probably everyone has already heard of them and thinks I am just trying to compensate for the first song being a Beatles cover (Douche!) and also an actor/actress band. I guess it's better you think that than think it's to compensate for my tiny penis.

Last Jam of the As-Yet-To-Be-Determined-Time-Period is Pu$$y by Bangers & Cash. Again, this song is already kinda old, but when I checked my iTunes this album had the most plays, which is kinda weird (but not really because I did listen the shit out of it). Plus, I get to show I am hip and with it and all that. I picked this song because it features the line, "Sittin' home poppin' boners to That's So Raven" which is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. Funniest and most true.