Okay, so maybe my blog will only be about Lou Dobbs from now on. Maybe I'm too excitable. Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I need another cup of some guilt-free frozen yogurt and to just chill the fuck out. Or maybe it's not me, it's you, Lou.
Exhibit B <--- Make a clicking thing here!
I'm not really sure where to start on this one, (Oh yes I am...) but it might be with good old Lou calling the US and A the most progressive country on the earth. Okay, no it's really with him referring to Condi Rice and although not by name but certainly through implication, my main man Barry Obama, with the adjective "cotton-pickin'" in his mini-rant about how he can't call them coloreds anymore without someone getting on his extremely old case. He does catch himself just before he ads the hyphen and pickin', but you know it's there, I know it's there, and the citizens of the most progressive nation on Allah's green Earth know it's there. It's bubbling just below that vascular, wrinkled old skull-front that is Lou Dobbs' forehead (and his great-grandchildrens' favorite place to wipe their boogers).
On a related note, can we change the constitution to prohibit anyone old enough to refer to "dinner" as "supper" is too old to be president?
"Ronald Reagan is a diseased midget steeped in chocolate slimfast!" - - James Inman
3.26.2008
For anyone who likes Lou Dobbs...
What can I say? You are a fucking moron...
Repeat:
YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON!
Repeat:
YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON!
3.05.2008
WeirdBeard!!
Oh man, I totally am making a blog post to get WeirdBeard's attention! Is he gonna read it? Shit! Just so he doesn't think I am shitty at typing, let the record show that WeirdBeard is intentionally one word with two capital letters. Think MasterCard. It's very powerful.
Hmm... now I gotta figure out what he would want to read about. I could make this the first post of my long awaited daily stool thread, in which I detail my daily b.m. and take reader suggestions for undigestibles for consumptus quod exhaustus?
Naw, I need to get a new digital camera first. 7.1 megapixels is just not quite enough to capture the turdery that I am perpetrating.
How about a work rant?
So a guy applies for a loan yesterday to refinance his current auto loan with another credit union. He gets approved, so I send him the form he needs to fill out with all the information for his current finance company and a list of things he needs to send to me. He doesn't have an account with us so I have to get a lot of basic stuff like drivers license and social security card and utility bill to check his address, plus he has to send in proof of income and a copy of his registration and proof of insurance.
I get an e-mail from him this morning and it's like he scanned a shitty fax and sent it as a .pdf file. Half of the stuff was completely illegible, and some of what was looked a little fake. Fake like he didn't even spell the name right on some of the stuff. Fake like the lines of text on his "paycheck stub" didn't match up in places.
He calls in later to see if I got his stuff, but at this point I haven't actually unwrapped the little gift he's sent me so I tell him I'll open it up and take a look. Seeing the interesting documents, I asked him why it looked like that. He proceed to spin me a yarn about how he had one fax machine, but it would only fax to 800 numbers and our number is 415, so he faxed them to himself at another "office" so he could scan them and e-mail them to me from there.
Why wouldn't he just bring the originals, which he claimed to have with him, and scan and e-mail them to me there? He said he didn't know. I told him to go get the stuff and then come back and scan it for me. He said he couldn't do that because he is traveling right now and and going to different offices everyday. I asked him if he could bring them to a Kinko's and have them do it for him. I guess he couldn't do that that because after work he just has to drive right away to the next job. It sure sounds like he doesn't even sleep, just work and drive. Then he said he has another copy that was better he could e-mail me, why he wouldn't send me the better copy in the first place is anyone's guess. Not impressed. At least change the file name if you are going to pretend it's a different scan, guy.
Just a fun sample of my day...
Earlier when he was talking about his many travels he mentioned he would be back in the suburb of SF that he lives in, so I told him if it was a big problem he could bring all his stuff in when he gets back. He was very
Hmm... now I gotta figure out what he would want to read about. I could make this the first post of my long awaited daily stool thread, in which I detail my daily b.m. and take reader suggestions for undigestibles for consumptus quod exhaustus?
Naw, I need to get a new digital camera first. 7.1 megapixels is just not quite enough to capture the turdery that I am perpetrating.
How about a work rant?
So a guy applies for a loan yesterday to refinance his current auto loan with another credit union. He gets approved, so I send him the form he needs to fill out with all the information for his current finance company and a list of things he needs to send to me. He doesn't have an account with us so I have to get a lot of basic stuff like drivers license and social security card and utility bill to check his address, plus he has to send in proof of income and a copy of his registration and proof of insurance.
I get an e-mail from him this morning and it's like he scanned a shitty fax and sent it as a .pdf file. Half of the stuff was completely illegible, and some of what was looked a little fake. Fake like he didn't even spell the name right on some of the stuff. Fake like the lines of text on his "paycheck stub" didn't match up in places.
He calls in later to see if I got his stuff, but at this point I haven't actually unwrapped the little gift he's sent me so I tell him I'll open it up and take a look. Seeing the interesting documents, I asked him why it looked like that. He proceed to spin me a yarn about how he had one fax machine, but it would only fax to 800 numbers and our number is 415, so he faxed them to himself at another "office" so he could scan them and e-mail them to me from there.
Why wouldn't he just bring the originals, which he claimed to have with him, and scan and e-mail them to me there? He said he didn't know. I told him to go get the stuff and then come back and scan it for me. He said he couldn't do that because he is traveling right now and and going to different offices everyday. I asked him if he could bring them to a Kinko's and have them do it for him. I guess he couldn't do that that because after work he just has to drive right away to the next job. It sure sounds like he doesn't even sleep, just work and drive. Then he said he has another copy that was better he could e-mail me, why he wouldn't send me the better copy in the first place is anyone's guess. Not impressed. At least change the file name if you are going to pretend it's a different scan, guy.
Just a fun sample of my day...
Earlier when he was talking about his many travels he mentioned he would be back in the suburb of SF that he lives in, so I told him if it was a big problem he could bring all his stuff in when he gets back. He was very
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