Swedish Dance Bands, Ahoy!

Jeremy gave me this link to a website with some awesome pictures of Swedish dance bands, such as the one to your left. There is a frighteningly large amount of these pictures on the site, but they are all worth it. Jeremy points out that the guy in the photo fourth from the top looks like Peter Griffin. I think he's right.

This is slightly better...

... until you realize that it's people dancing in the Dairy Queen parking lot. I didn't realize that Dormer Plaza is the new spot.

White Center, are you comfortable being represented by this guy?

I was on YouTube searching for videos that came up for White Center, WA and I found this gem.

You tell 'em Chris...

Click Here!

Wilco & Fleet Foxes

Here's a clip of Wilco and Fleet Foxes singing "I Shall Be Released" in Spokane.

#1 Haiku

Picture polar bears
Like the ones that were on Lost
Now see them fucking

Things I suck at.

Jams

Just a quickie, but check out the music player I've added on the right-hand side. These are the only officially approved jams to listen to while reading this site. I will update the list every weekish. If anyone has suggestions, leave 'em in the comments and I'll see what I can do.

You won't have Hans von Spakovsky to kick around anymore... Hopefully.

Well, now that everyone's favorite vote-suppressing strudel lover has withdrawn his chubby little spanner from the works of the FEC we can get something going here. Hopefully Congress can get the remaining seats filled with people who are only 45%-55% sycophant and look into something. You know, if they aren't too busy.

Cocoa Puffs!?

If the third front in the GWOT heats up, money for school will no longer be a problem. I'll make more than enough fiat dollars in hostile fire pay to cover the current G.I. Bill shortcomings. But on the bright side, I may get another chance to visit my bedouin son Rat-Man. I miss him and his panty-melting green neckerchief, and the Kimbo style beat downs he would handout to all who would dare to eyeball his cocoa puffs. Just Rat-Man, Me and our trusty M-4 carbine. Mission Accomplished.

Let me just say this first, I do believe that drunk driving is a very dangerous and stupid thing to do and shouldn't be punished with just a slap on the wrist, but this is ridiculous. Having said that, I find that the constant pounding our bill of rights takes in the name of safety, is a lot more dangerous to our society as a whole than some drunkard out cruising. Never mind the fact that those who lobby for, or in some cases write these fascist friendly laws usually make a tidy little profit from their benevolence.

I just want to thank the Concrete Ghost for letting me shit post on his electronic front yard, and to my buddy Joe B, I'm glad you're almost back from Iraq. And to Mondo, who as my attorney, advises me to " DRINK SUM BEERZZ" You need to hit up Amsterdam before you cross the pond. P.S. hey concrete ghost, I thought you'd enjoy this bit of undernews .

Awesomeness!!! Animal Awesomeness!!!

Okay, I was hipped to this new Animal Collective video by Mallory Jr., and it's full of Animal Awesomeness. It's a live performance of a new song called, "Brother Sport." It's got the hypnotic rhythms that AC have made a staple of their jams, stoned-monk harmonic chanting, with some good bleeps and bloops all simmering in the crock pot with a tasty bay leaf, and more than a pinch of Avey Tare screaming into the mic. What else could you want? You better say nothing.

If you like it leave some comments! If you don't like it leave some comments! My blog get's lonely without any commments! And the person who keeps posting as anonymous saying my blogs are bloggy isn't going to get any dinner tonight if she doesn't make a user name...

Songs of the As-Yet-To-Be-Determined-Time-Period!

I have been meaning to sign up for some dumb file hosting website for awhile now, but never really got around to it until now, which is why I am making this post. I wanted to be cool like all my blogger heroes (Here's lookin' at you, Perez!) and put up some illegal music. No Lou, not music made by THE illegals, songs that I am distributing without owning the copyright. Although, I am encouraging people who like these jams to go and buy them at their local independent record store. Wow, that totally makes me sound like a prick!!

First up, I Should Have Known Better by She & Him. I know, I know. "What a douche," you say, "starting with a Beatles cover." Whatevs, I'm not sweating it. She is Zooey Deschanel and He is M. Ward.

Next we have For Reverend Green by Animal Collective. Probably everyone has already heard of them and thinks I am just trying to compensate for the first song being a Beatles cover (Douche!) and also an actor/actress band. I guess it's better you think that than think it's to compensate for my tiny penis.

Last Jam of the As-Yet-To-Be-Determined-Time-Period is Pu$$y by Bangers & Cash. Again, this song is already kinda old, but when I checked my iTunes this album had the most plays, which is kinda weird (but not really because I did listen the shit out of it). Plus, I get to show I am hip and with it and all that. I picked this song because it features the line, "Sittin' home poppin' boners to That's So Raven" which is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. Funniest and most true.

Lou Dobbs is the only thing I seem to care about...

Okay, so maybe my blog will only be about Lou Dobbs from now on. Maybe I'm too excitable. Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I need another cup of some guilt-free frozen yogurt and to just chill the fuck out. Or maybe it's not me, it's you, Lou.



Exhibit B <--- Make a clicking thing here!

I'm not really sure where to start on this one, (Oh yes I am...) but it might be with good old Lou calling the US and A the most progressive country on the earth. Okay, no it's really with him referring to Condi Rice and although not by name but certainly through implication, my main man Barry Obama, with the adjective "cotton-pickin'" in his mini-rant about how he can't call them coloreds anymore without someone getting on his extremely old case. He does catch himself just before he ads the hyphen and pickin', but you know it's there, I know it's there, and the citizens of the most progressive nation on Allah's green Earth know it's there. It's bubbling just below that vascular, wrinkled old skull-front that is Lou Dobbs' forehead (and his great-grandchildrens' favorite place to wipe their boogers).



On a related note, can we change the constitution to prohibit anyone old enough to refer to "dinner" as "supper" is too old to be president?

For anyone who likes Lou Dobbs...

What can I say? You are a fucking moron...



Repeat:

YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON!

WeirdBeard!!

Oh man, I totally am making a blog post to get WeirdBeard's attention! Is he gonna read it? Shit! Just so he doesn't think I am shitty at typing, let the record show that WeirdBeard is intentionally one word with two capital letters. Think MasterCard. It's very powerful.

Hmm... now I gotta figure out what he would want to read about. I could make this the first post of my long awaited daily stool thread, in which I detail my daily b.m. and take reader suggestions for undigestibles for consumptus quod exhaustus?

Naw, I need to get a new digital camera first. 7.1 megapixels is just not quite enough to capture the turdery that I am perpetrating.

How about a work rant?

So a guy applies for a loan yesterday to refinance his current auto loan with another credit union. He gets approved, so I send him the form he needs to fill out with all the information for his current finance company and a list of things he needs to send to me. He doesn't have an account with us so I have to get a lot of basic stuff like drivers license and social security card and utility bill to check his address, plus he has to send in proof of income and a copy of his registration and proof of insurance.

I get an e-mail from him this morning and it's like he scanned a shitty fax and sent it as a .pdf file. Half of the stuff was completely illegible, and some of what was looked a little fake. Fake like he didn't even spell the name right on some of the stuff. Fake like the lines of text on his "paycheck stub" didn't match up in places.

He calls in later to see if I got his stuff, but at this point I haven't actually unwrapped the little gift he's sent me so I tell him I'll open it up and take a look. Seeing the interesting documents, I asked him why it looked like that. He proceed to spin me a yarn about how he had one fax machine, but it would only fax to 800 numbers and our number is 415, so he faxed them to himself at another "office" so he could scan them and e-mail them to me from there.

Why wouldn't he just bring the originals, which he claimed to have with him, and scan and e-mail them to me there? He said he didn't know. I told him to go get the stuff and then come back and scan it for me. He said he couldn't do that because he is traveling right now and and going to different offices everyday. I asked him if he could bring them to a Kinko's and have them do it for him. I guess he couldn't do that that because after work he just has to drive right away to the next job. It sure sounds like he doesn't even sleep, just work and drive. Then he said he has another copy that was better he could e-mail me, why he wouldn't send me the better copy in the first place is anyone's guess. Not impressed. At least change the file name if you are going to pretend it's a different scan, guy.

Just a fun sample of my day...

Earlier when he was talking about his many travels he mentioned he would be back in the suburb of SF that he lives in, so I told him if it was a big problem he could bring all his stuff in when he gets back. He was very

Find out if your friends and neighbors are who they really claim to be...

Hucklebee! Fuckabee! Huck-A-Mania?

And if it is Huck-A-Mania, what are you going to do when it comes for you? Why is he such a jerk? Is it his idiotic support of the fair tax? Is it his covering up of his son's dog killing follies? Is it the hideous picture you see above? Well, there may be another cause to add to the ever swelling litany of reasons that is our dear Hucklebee is a pair of dirty sweatpants peed on by a convicted felon.

My friend Ricardo said that supposedly Hucklebee lied when he said he lost all that baby fat from just eating right and exercising, and that he really had help from a little friend called gastric bypass surgery.Ricardo read it on this one website, but he is pretty reliable and he is finally getting sick of Ron Paul, so I feel I can trust his judgment more now. Also, he has a lot of time to look at shit on the internet.

Supposedly, right before Huckster lost all his weight he went on a vacation and wouldn't tell any of his staff where he was going. He was gone long enough to have had the surgery and recovered, and he had already started his weight-loss by the time he returned to work. This may or may not be true, but no one reads this and if I'm not posting whatever wacky shit I hear I'll never be like my hero Matt Drudge.

"I Don't Heart Hucklebee" - Sabrina

ZOMG that's hilarious!